Stop complaining that everyone is mumbling and get a hearing test.
Stop wearing so much black before I get hit by a car some rainy night.
Tear out what remains of my damned lawn after gophers dined on it and replace it with something that doesn’t require mowing, like gravel.
Get a decent shave at one of the new, old-fashioned barbershops
Catchup or re-watch all the episodes of Homeland, Boss, Shameless, The Hour, Newsroom and The Wire.
Stop being abusive to people who don’t like chocolate, dogs, Quentin Tarantino, Brussels sprouts, Michael Chabon, Los Angeles or my driving.