Spring is a challenge to codgers. It is difficult to maintain a sour, been-there/done-that cynicism when nature is detonating its floral fireworks on every hillside, park and crack in the sidewalk. Reminding our friends and neighbors that things are as lousy as ever, that politicians are parading off to jail, that our phone calls are being recorded, that we still can’t get cheap dental insurance, that the 49ers have packed up, that bridge tolls are hitting $6 and that we are in the middle of a drought, becomes tougher every day the sun shines down on our very, very green and pleasant land.
Excuse me if I’m just a bit skeptical about the onslaught of efforts to extend human life with millions of dollars of investments by Larry Ellison and Google’s Calico. Medically I certainly cheer anything that reduces the suffering of growing older but I am not so sure about having to endure more decades of presidential campaigns. I kind of sympathize with the 108-year old survivor of the ’06 earthquake who did not show up at the annual 6am celebration because he did not feel like getting up that early.
Yes I have tried Airbnb and heartily endorse it. I don’t miss hotel amenities. I am certainly capable of making my own bed and picking my towels up off the bathroom floor. More applause in the travel category goes to Uber where rides come on time and I don’t have to root around in my pockets to pay the driver.
Please do me a favor and try to speak more crisply. As tinnitus takes its toll I appreciate people who enunciate with the precision that my mother, a teacher of the deaf, continually requested. Speaking of hearing impairment, I recommend you immediately learn how to install captioning on your tv. Without it you would have missed Mathew McConaghey’s astonishing psychosphere ramblings on “True Detective”.
Writing checks to good causes should be applauded, but in my experience nothing approaches the satisfaction one gets from hands on public service. The English coaching that I do in a local junior high school is one of the high points of my week and a refutation to all those scoffers who think the younger generation’s minds have been ruined by video games and that they use “like” ten times in every sentence.
Yes, yes, yes I happily embarrassed myself meeting my first grandchild. I know I promised to not to start blithering but it’s harder than I thought to keep my joy fettered. Best I should stop right before I discombobulate myself further.