that I will therapeutically minute by minute, word by word, paragraph by paragraph, build up my immunity until the time comes when, at one sitting, I can read the entire New York Times main news section without gagging and then every night, anchor by anchor,slowly restore my appetite for watching the parade of cable political pundits.
I will resist the force field of aging by reminding myself to stop slumping into sofas and whenever I catch myself bending over while walking, to pull myself up, erect as a West Point cadet.
there will be no time limits or restrictions of any kind on my mockery of President Rump.
I will never drive south from Napa on 29 or cross the Richmond- San Rafael bridge on weekday late afternoons.
I will seek professional help to confront my addiction to the Warriors.
the parameters of my social life will be extended to include younger folks in their 50’s.
I will tell my oldest, closest friends when they are exasperating me.
I will continue my near-total boycott of Facebook. I will stand firm in my resistance to tweeting. I will leave the room when discussions turn to Pinterest, Instagram, Vine, Snapchat or Spotify.
I will pry my mind open to be more receptive to beet salads, California wines,Star Wars sequels, Tesla owners, people who do not use their turn signals, vitamins, lime green keds, online birthday cards, graphic novels, Karl Ove Knausgard, mindfulness, cruelty-free beers, accordians, teachable moments and choirs who change the lyrics of Leonard Cohen’s bitter “Hallelujah” to rosily reflect the New Testament.