rant

The water faucet sounds like Niagara Falls. Dishes being stacked slam like a 6-car traffic accident. My own voice comes out like I’m speaking on a microphone in an echo chamber. Yes, I have just started wearing my first hearing aids and have not yet gotten used to the jingly jangly, silvery, metallic audio clatter like […]

I am pro-fog. Not just because of its crisp Chardonnay chill or its saline perfume reminding me the mighty Pacific is a few hills away. In my unscientific mind I imagine these damp vapors are reducing the possibility of another firestorm in the dry grasslands above my home – at least until the sun comes […]

This week’s prize for most ridiculous tech advance is Genworth R70, the 100-pound full-body “aging suit” that simulates decrepitude including restrictive fabric that mimics arthritis and heavy boots that recreate muscle loss plus a helmet that stifles vision and hearing. The intent is to make our grown kids more sympathetic to our ailments. An occasional […]

The last time California was slammed by a drought I wasn’t living here but I heard all about the emergency measures people were taking and talking about – pails in showers, bricks in toilets, dying lawns, an emergency waterline to Marin. This time around, however, I hardly hear anything. Where’s the panic? Ski resorts and […]

Get out your handkerchiefs. For the first time since 1947 boomers are no longer the largest population segment in the country, We have been replaced by 22 year olds. If it is any consolation we, of course, still have more money than they do. In other surprising geezer metrics did you know that since 2001 […]

 Spring is a challenge to codgers. It is difficult to maintain a sour, been-there/done-that cynicism when nature is detonating its floral fireworks on every hillside, park and crack in the sidewalk. Reminding our friends and neighbors that things are as lousy as ever, that politicians are parading off to jail, that our phone calls are […]

Bay seniors, joining the growing drought panic, might want to consider copying the elders of the Maasi who lead their tribe, when required, in rain-making dances. There is actually a wide choice of such precipitation performances including the Sioux, Zuni, Osage as well as Chinese, Slavic and Romanian versions. But seriously what about the state […]

Resolutions? I have a very short list: Instead of taking a class in German history, I should sign up for something more practical like plumbing repair. Dig deeper into my family geneology. What happened to that hotel my ancestors owned on Howard Street in 1860? Cut back to 6 cups of coffee a day. Meet […]